Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Back to the mean doctor lady

Oh man, I'd been here 6 whole months and Mom had to take me back to the mean doctor.  What did I do wrong?  I don't know.  I was licking my girl parts a lot and then Mom picked me up and I was all wet.  Mom used a tissue on me and found BLOOD!  That can't be good.  So Mom called mean doctor lady  and made an appointment.  I knew what that meant.  Bad things ahead so I ran under Mom's bed to be safe.  

This of course really ticked off my Mom.  Not a good thing to do at all.  Mom finally got me and put me in this cloth sack and took me out to the big box that moves.  This was not going to be good.  Then I did something great.  Mom opened the house to the outside and I got scared and got out of the cloth sack!  Mom didn't even get the moving box moving!  I was FREEEEEEE!  I ran and ran and ran around the moving box on the inside but could not figure out how to get out of it.  Crap.  The door closed to the outside and Mom got hold of me when I stopped on the dashboard.  She got out of the big box and got a different container for me, one I couldn't get out of and then she put me back in the big box and we went to the mean doctor's office. 

I wasn't done yet.  When we went into the back room and they tried to weigh me, I ran.  I ran away!  I didn't go anywhere.  I just went into their office where Mom came and got me while one of the mean girls came running with a towel thinking I might attack Mom.  The thought never entered my mind, she is Mom, you don't hurt her.  Mom carried me back so they could weigh me.  Hell, girls do not like their weight checked, I know this.  Mom hates it. 

Mean doctor came in and they figured out I had an infection and I got some oh so not yummy antibiotics to take.  As long as it made me feel better, I did not like the itchiness of my girl parts. 

It was becoming fall.  I remember this time of year.  It gets darker earlier and it is easier to hide from bad things.  Oh wait, there are no bad things here, whew, life is good.

Bob and I really connected, he is like my best friend I never had, like the older brother I needed, like the love of my life.  Hey, that isn't weird, we are good friends. 

I really enjoy being with Mom.  I sit with her when she is on that funny box talking to friends.  I didn't know she had friends.  People who care about her.  I guess I understand that. 
I can only imagine what the rest of the year will bring.  Gooshy foods?  Treats?  Some love from Mom?  I do know that I have to be extra loving to Mom.  Stuff makes her upset, it is that thing she goes to every day, that job thing.  I am pretty sure a job is evil.  Mom should stay home with me all the time.  Yes, I think that would be the perfect job.  I'll update Mom's resume for that soon.

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