Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Plaid shorts on heathens

The tension is building here for Turkey day!  I hear we are going to have heathens for dinner.  Oh wait, they are guests?  Damn!  I was hoping for some fried heathen.  But I will take some roast turkey please.  

Mom told me a story yesterday.  I got bored but I did take notes.

A light burned out in the kitchen, one of the recessed lights so Mom went up to Lowe's to get a replacement.  She got the bulb and went to the check out line, the one where you scan the product yourself and then put your money and go home to wonderful cats.  So there is Mom, putting cash into the machine, just minding her own business.  And some idiot came up to Mom and said 'it says pay with card now'.  I guess Mom just looked at the guy and nicely said 'I know but I am paying cash'.  Seems the guy didn't think Mom was going fast enough for his really cool and awesome plaid shorts.  I also think the guy skulked away after Mom gave him 'the look'.  The look of  'do not f*** with me'.  Mom finished paying and walked out of the store, got in the moving box thing and saw the bozo I mean totally hot dude with a huge penis ensconced in plaid shorts, walk out of the store.  Mom snerked.  And she came home to the most awesome cats ever.  Well, a princess cat and 3 heathens.   

I'm trying to not be scared of Robin so much.  It is hard though.  He will come into the family room while I am on the couch napping (with one eye open) and sit and stare at Mom.  Sometimes he will put his paws on her.  I think he is trying to figure out if Mom is good or not.  I need to tell him, Mom is the best, but I am still pretty peeved that another heathen is in the house so I will just ignore him.  heathen. 

Mom took some pictures of heathens.  She said I have to share.  Since everyone got to look at me with my twin butterball yesterday. 

Louie thinks he is hot.  No no no, not hot, do not want.  He probably wears plaid shorts.

OMG!!!!  This is what bites me? 

show off

sigh, isn't he handsome?  The things he can do with those thumbs....indescribable. 

And look!  He can do all sorts of positions!  I love me some Hermie.....
Snerk!  Louie you look great in that.  Do you have the shorts to go with the hat?

Oh Louie, I actually feel sort of bad for you.  Sort of. 

Oh, a heathen gang.  Looks like Hermie is ready to rumble for Louie's indignities. 

I think Mom needs to try putting a hat on Robin and see how that goes. As long as she does it to the boys, it means I am safe, I hope.  I really hope.  Oh crap, I am sure there will be some sort of hat on me this year.  Mom thinks it is funny and I like to indulge her.  She is the only Mom I have and I kind of like her.  Even though she brought home heathens, I still like her.  I wonder if there is a cream for heathens.  I'll have to google that later....after my nap. 


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