Mom has been in a good mood lately. Well, honestly, Mom is usually in a good mood. She doesn't let much get her down. Sometimes yes, she is in a pissy kind of mood but she fights that by exercising and it helps. I'm always in a good mood so I don't need to exercise! Anyway, Mom baked cookies yesterday. I guess she is going to give some to the neighbors and she is going to take some to the lady who cuts her hair. It is her way of thanking them for being in her life and caring for her. I know, silly, a hair person being a friend but Mom considers Michelle a friend. She has been getting her hair cut by Michelle for almost 17 years now. So yes, she is a friend. Mom has other friends too, her friends Debbie & Mike who she has known for a long time, that guy she likes, yeah, he is a friend too. Funny, I thought we kitties were enough for Mom but she likes to have human friends too.
So it is time, I get to write to the big guy! Here goes:
My name is Ellie, I'm sure you have heard of me as my name is probably on the top of the 'nice' list.
- space away from heathens (really, do they NEED to come in the bedroom where I am?)
- all the kibble I want, preferably the most fattening, yummy kind there is (hey, I am not fat, I'm fluff!)
- I want Mom to myself. I don't want to share. I like being with Mom, she is nice to me, she says I am pretty and that she loves me. And that she is so happy that we met that day almost 3 years ago. Me too
- I want the whole house to be heathen free. I'm pretty sure you can swing this for me when you open the front door to deliver the presents. Leave it open and they will run out the door and quickly shut it to lock them out. Wait, maybe not. That would make Mom very sad. Scratch that one off please.
- Can you get Mom a job? I like having her home and all but she needs to work again. Get her ass moving on that please!
- I'm pretty happy with the cuddles I get with Mom at night. So keep that please!
- Can you try and get Louie to stop humping me and biting me please? It is rather tiresome.
- I want to cuddle with Hermie sometime. I'd like to be in a cat puddle with him. Maybe Robin, if I can stand it. Not sure about Louis.....he might still try to hump me. Yes, I want to sleep in a cat puddle.
Now, I need to air a few things about the heathens that you need to know before you even think of bringing them presents:
- Hermie keeps trying to steal Mom's watch and he keeps trying to get to DA BIRD. In his defense, he is hot and I really like him. So don't pay attention to anything you hear that is bad about him.
- Louie, where do I start. He humps me. He bites me. He sits on Mom's desk! Give him a lump of coal.
- Robin, I don't know him well enough but he has been a bit forward with me by coming up and kissing my nose. And looking at me. He seems like he might be OK.
- Mom.....she is really nice. I don't think I have ever seen her mad. I've seen her sad. Please, if you can, can you make sure she isn't sad anymore? I hate when her eyes leak.
Mr. Fluffy, I hope you have a great trip, use your GPS, don't want you to miss our house. It is the blue one in Florida. Where I live. With Mom. And the damned Heathens.
Whew, that was hard to write. But I did it! I even tattled a little bit.
I've been enjoying my new bed. I LOVE it.
shhhhh, Hermie and I kissed! I loves him!
OK, I did my letter to Santa, fat old dude, whatever you want to call him. Hope he listens to me and I get everything I want.
Now I must rest. In my pink kitty bed!